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🎶Let’s talk about sex, baby🎶

…just kidding…

Let’s talk about awkward dates! 

Ultimately, awkward/bad dates are good because it expedites the process of realizing if you and the other person are compatible. But it’s not very much fun in the moment! 

My life is a catalog of embarrassing moments and I seem to replay them in my head multiple times a month…cringing as I recall my bad luck/stupidity, as though it were happening all over again. 

Thankfully, I haven’t had many awkward dates…I locked my keys in my car once and the guy had to drive me to get the spare. Another time, I audibly passed gas on a group date (that’s in my top 3 most embarrassing moments EVER, hence the reason it’s not a “bad date” story). Another time, I picked up a guy and he brought alcohol with him and drank it in my car and then while we were out, two different women came up to me asked if I wanted to go out with them.  But my most awkward real “date” was in 11th grade. 

I was in a science class with several senior football players and had a crush on one of them. I sat behind him and always helped him with his work (see also, did his work for him to get him to pay attention to me-it was a pattern throughout high school with both potential boyfriends and friends. Protip: Don’t do it unless you only want friends/suitors during sports seasons). He was actually really nice to me and we would joke around a lot and one day he gave me his number and told me to text him if I ever wanted to hangout! A couple days went by and I texted him and asked what was up. After a few texts he quickly informed me that he only meant that I should text him if I ever wanted to bone and so that was the end of that (the same thing happened with another senior football player when I was in 10th grade and in grad school too, but I’ll tell you guys about that another time).

Now that I look back, I am sure he told his football buddies because the next week another senior football player in the science class with us (who had just broken up with his high school sweetheart) asked me if I wanted to go out sometime and gave me his number.

Thus begins the awkward date story. 

He was a popular guy and came from a rich family. His dad was the CEO of QT or something like that and he was also pretty religious (pretty sure he was in a youth group and FCA). We didn’t have a ton in common but he was nice and I thought I could atleast make a new friend, if nothing else. Since I had never been asked on a date by a guy unless we were already boyfriend and girlfriend, I decided to go. The first time we went out we went to see a movie. I think it had The Rock in it and was set in space, but I don’t really remember. We went during the day and I met him at the theater. It went well and he invited me out again for another date. We decided on the movies again, but he said I could pick this time. He picked me up at my house and it was in the evening so there were lots of people from school at the theater. I was really worried about picking a dumb chick flick or something stupid so I asked my mom to help me pick a “guy movie”. My mom said that a new movie staring Viggo Mortensen just came out, so that’s what I picked. He paid for our tickets, bought refreshments and we sat on the back row. It was going well.

About 30 minutes into A History of Violence, I realized I made a terrible mistake. People’s heads were blown off, every other word was a cuss word, and then the final nail in the coffin: a prolonged 69ing scene. So, here I am sitting in a dark theater with a religious upperclassman while Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello are going HAM on each other’s genitalia. Seeing as I had only officially dated one guy before and was all of 17 years old, I wasn’t even entirely sure what was happening. It felt like the scene lasted half and hour and I was so embarrassed I just kept staring at the screen, hoping it would end. 

We got out of the theater and remember he said something along the lines of, “Well, that was uncomfortable.” 

Needless to say, he never texted me again and we never went back out. A few months later I went on my second real date and then started dating my second official boyfriend, so that was the end of my bad high school dates.

Weirdly enough, that was one of like 5 dates I’ve ever been on that wasn’t with a guy that had already asked me out officially. This has always been so confusing for me because my mom would always tell me that I should expect guys to ask me out on dates to get to know each other before we became a couple but more often than not, guys would ask me to be their girlfriend and then take me out to do stuff. I had several crushes in high school but all of the guys I liked wouldn’t date me or dumped me once they figured out that I wouldn’t bone like rabbits. Considering I only dated two guys the entire time I was in high school, I obviously didn’t succeed at the whole dating thing! 

Ironically, after high school I dated several guys from high school, but in each case we were already officially going out before they invited me on dates.

Do you have any good “bad date” stories you’d like to share? Did you date in high school? Was it a good or bad experience?

Embarrassment makes the world go ’round, friends!

Until next time!😉